I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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