I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
