The maid of honor just puked.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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