Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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