If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
