I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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