Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize