I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
