Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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