uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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