sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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