We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize