If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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