i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Randomize