I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
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I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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