he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
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We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
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also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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