She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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