I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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