he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
And then he peed in my hair
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
