please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
