I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
