I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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