between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
