I must be too annoying 4 u.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
