Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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