i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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