its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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