return my video game
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
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Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.