U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now