my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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