He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
