just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
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Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Everyone says I win the strip club
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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