Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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