After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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