Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
is wine microwaveable?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
