can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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