Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize