there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
