just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
