I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
