im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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