can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
