I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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