i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
