Non-Jews are for practice
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
