I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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