I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
