Only a mothe r could love this liver
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
