we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I will pee on everything he values.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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