i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
