the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
