If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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