If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
