I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
